There was mud on Clara’s ankles snaking its way up to her calves. It seeped, squelched between her toes as she walked further into the marsh, Back there, where the grasses grew in bursts like the clouds in the June sky, she had lost one shoe then the other.

At the loss of the first shoe she’d cursed, delved both hands into the oozing mud and tried to locate what she knew was lost. Lost, buried beneath the dirt. Then she’d looked up at the sky and sobbed, watching the birds gliding above become blurry through her tears. The second time came just a few steps later after she’d wiped her snot away with the back of her hand. She’d felt the familiar pull down, down into the earth and simply kept walking, the shoe slipping off, a lover’s silk nightgown. 

The grasses began to graze her thighs beneath her white shift. They whispered against her skin in the same way Martha’s hands had when she was untying Clara’s bootlaces. Martha, the hushed voices of the grasses breathed through the dusk. Water began to spring up between her toes with each step. Soon the water plastered her dress against her legs, then her waist, then her shoulders. 

The marsh birds scattered from the trees as she submerged herself in the waters. It felt like puncturing a cake with birthday candles, breaking through the waters. They presented her to the sliver of moon that hung in the sky on a watery plate. On her back she could see the water-drawn insects flitting in and out of vision, could watch the birds return home with their treasures of twigs clasped in their beaks, could feel the weight of the swelling horizon. 

The reeds from the depths ran their fingers through her hair in a way she had missed since Martha’s departure. Every other Friday Martha went to her dad’s in the city. Clara watched as she stuffed things into her backpack pausing intermittently to kiss her softly on the forehead. Those days she felt like the lovelorn tide that lapped against the sand, desperate for the most momentary of touches. Today was Saturday evening. Martha would be back tomorrow with stories of her city friends, her vibrant words pooling honey in Clara’s ears. 

On these waters where they had skipped stones, where they had dipped their toes in from the wooden path, where the water still tasted of the sweat of Martha’s skin, they were closer. And as her tears slid down Clara’s face they chimed as they joined the pools around her.

The book she’d tucked under her arm floated on the surface like a body. To Clara, and Love Martha, scrawled on the front page. She’d come here to read in the company of the marsh birds. It was the only way to pass the time when Martha was away. Each page flaked away a few moments of absence. Every time the book bobbed on the surface it reminded her of what she’d seen.

To Clara. Love Martha. 

She had taken the board path to get to the marsh. Book tucked under her arm, her shoes clicked against the wooden slats. Above her the marsh birds shrieked as they circled. Reeds lined each side of the path, fluttering in the breeze. They grew taller the further into the marsh she went, until she was dwarfed by them. For a second they parted, and there, beneath the weeping willow, she stood. Martha. 

She was with a boy from their school, the year above. He had her black hair in a fistful in his hand. Their mouths were joined, open, searching. Against the tree she tilted her neck to the side in a fashion that made bile sting in Clara’s throat. His hands were blindly upon her, rough like he was separating dirty laundry. The reeds closed again.  

Love Martha.

And now Clara was in the water.

The sounds of the birds overhead morphed into Martha’s laugh, the rustling grasses into her soft voice, the flowing reeds into her fingers. The book splayed apart on the water’s surface. The ink of the first page was running into the waters of the marsh. The word Martha was bleeding. Clara reached listlessly for it. She needed to read it once more, hold onto the the drawn-out vowels for a second longer. She needed one more moment of embrace. The marsh birds cried out as she turned onto her stomach, submerged her face into the rippling water. 

The reeds wove around her, twining like ribbons. They pulled her in. Into her arms.

As I sit in a new place surrounded by new people, sounds, and feelings, I must thank whoever or whatever brought me here. I am in love with the opportunities in front of us. I will be able to be happy in my career and be able to expand my life in positive ways. My boyfriend will be able to grow even more than me: finishing his degree and beginning to explore what he would love to do for the rest of his life. Whether it be a teacher, politician, or garbage man, if he is happy, so am I. 

Here in Massachusetts, among the colonial houses, narrow roads, fast paced everything, and misty morning springs, I know this is not permanent, but I am happy. Content with the distance, passionate about discovering new places, food, and experiences. This is our chance to start everything over, rebuild ourselves to be better people, and have a great experience. No more hiding, no more tears, no more misery. 

This is a great place to be. 

***

In 2016, I wrote that first part shortly after moving across the country. My boyfriend (now husband), our cat, and I drove over 2,000 miles (3200 km) for my new job. I was overwhelmed with excitement and possibility because I escaped what I thought was the worst job I ever had. 

We enjoyed the beaches, got somewhat used to the humidity, took in the history of an early colony, and grew up a lot. I am still thankful for the beautiful summer moments and people still in my life.

But work turned after a while, and this opportunity became the worst one I had ever taken. It ate up everything I ever had. Depression is not the best mental health condition to battle when you need to get out of a horrible situation. I will not dwell here because it still hurts in many ways. 

Now, we are back in Colorado. We have been for almost five years. We were married a few weeks before I resigned from my position in Massachusetts. We struggled a lot in those first few months. But we found careers and grew into thirty year old adults. 

I have a good job, great bosses, understanding coworkers, and a good system behind me. But now I am watching my husband going through similar downs that I had before returning to the Rocky Mountains. It is painful to see him hurt and struggle through a battle everyday. 

I don’t have the solution to fix it. But I know how it feels to realize the fight is over (truly exhilarating if you have been fortunate enough to not go through these highs and lows).  

Here are some other things I know:

• Never be afraid to leave, regardless of what it is. If it isn’t giving you happiness, it isn’t worth the time, effort, etc.
• If you do get happiness from something, never give up on it. But don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Find multiple places to pull happiness from. If one must go for you to grow, the other things will help.
• Change happens. Growth happens. Highs happen. Lows happen. All are needed to make us better people. Reflect on where you were and where you are as much as possible. This will only help the lessons you learned bloom. 
• True happiness never comes easy. 
• Starting over doesn’t really exist. We always have the scars, and they don’t leave us. Start new, but respect your past self and find ways to improve your now. 

This isn’t our final wave of down or bad. Nor does the incoming chapter have all the solutions of life and happiness. I wish my 2016 self knew this. But my 2023 self knows that first breath after realizing we are in a new chapter will be oh so sweet, whether our toes are in the beach sand or dangling on top of a mountain. Growth, change, and happiness are all happening right now. And right now is a great place to be. 

“No, you can’t, it’s against the law!” I struggle against the fairies dragging me along, big burly ones too.

“Yes we can sweetheart,” the female one says in a sickly sweet voice. “Article 23 of the new constitution never specifies the use of children in time travel.”
I continue struggling, new constitution be damned. Fairies and their stupid loopholes.

Eventually they drag me through another sparkling clean hallway that smells like listerine and into a spacious, equally white, room.

He’s waiting.

“Good afternoon elf.” He smirks, then waves a piece of paper in my face. “You’ll notice I took care to get a guarantee that this operation wouldn’t be disturbed. But just in case that gold disappears a little too quickly,” he shrugs, “no one will be able to find it.”

I’m still struggling. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“You’re right, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. This way please.” He gestures to the boxy structure beside him and the fairies drag me closer.

I catch a whiff of a metallic smell and see his name tag: Dr. Schultz.

That same metallic smell radiates from the structure. I know what it is: fairy magic.

“Ready?” Dr. Schultz asks.

“No!” I yell. “Why would you send some kid back? It’s not like I started this stupid war!”

“Not unless you do your job right.”

“What?”

He just smiles. “Good luck!”

The fairies shove me inside the structure and close the door loudly.

I look around. The walls shimmer and the metallic smell is so powerful I gag and cover my mouth and nose.

Then the noise starts:

Whir whir POP, whir whir POP.

Uh oh.

I’ve never actually been in one, but I’ve heard all about these. They’re technically illegal but if those fairies have figured out a loophole to use a teenager in a science experiment, they’ve found a loophole for this.

Those stars-forsaken fairies have used their magic to build a time machine.

I’m in big trouble.

…

Whir whir POP, whir whir POP.

Dr. Schultz is waiting exactly where I left him. He grins at me. “You did it.”

“You know it took me years to figure out what you meant,” I say.

“I knew you would eventually.” He tilts his head to the side. “So you know why the war had to be fought?”

“It didn’t have to be fought,” I growl. “You set me up.”

“Ah, but I was meant to,” he says, the grin growing larger. “Once I had decided I would create this, I couldn’t stop it.”

“You always could have stopped it. And you didn’t have to send the first kid you found to do your dirty work for you.”

“But I did. I couldn’t just send myself. I had to remain here with the machine.”

I stare at him for a beat. “You were a lot less calculating back then.”

“I’m sure I was.” He stares at the machine behind me for several seconds before saying, “It really is perfect isn’t it?”

“It’s nice to know the ego didn’t go away.” I step out of the cursed machine and begin to walk out of the room. “I trust you won’t get fairies to drag me out as well?”

“I don’t think I’ll need to, will I?”

I shake my head without looking back. Halfway down the hall an explosion rattles the building. I can’t help the laugh that escapes me as I run the rest of the way to the door of the lab and look out, knowing what I’ll see.

Because of course I should’ve known.

No one can change the past, not if they were a part of it all along.

Lex huffed. She told herself not to go, but her best friend, Savannah, had convinced her to go. Parties just weren’t her style, and like every other time Savannah had disappeared with some guy as soon as they arrived, leaving Lex standing awkwardly in a corner. All by herself no less, everything about the situation screamed loser. It wouldn’t matter, though, most everyone would be so hammered by the end of the night that they wouldn’t remember what they did, let alone what Lex didn’t do.  

“Having fun?”  Lex looked up from her phone to see who had talked to her. It was rather dark in the corner so she couldn’t make out the face of who she was talking to. She stood from the bean bag chair she had been sulking on.

“Oh ya, loads of fun,” She said sarcastically. She could tell the person she was talking to was male and that he had smiled at her remark. “Have you seen Savannah Hartford recently?”

“I saw her about half an hour ago, she and a few other people were playing spin the bottle,” He answered. “Is something wrong with the party?”

Lex shrugged. “It’s not really my scene. To tell you the truth it’s probably one of the more boring I’ve been to all year.” Lex didn’t know why she was telling this guy this. She was just so irritated at her friend and at least he was talking to her for the moment. She might as well get out all her words while someone was listening to her.

“What? It’s not a good party unless someone falls off the roof?” He teased her. She smiled and laughed a little.

“Were you there the night when Tommy Renders fell?” She asked slightly, pointing at him. She saw him shake his head. “Well, I was. I was sitting on the porch, minding my own business when Savanah called me over to the pool. I had just gotten over there when Tommy yelled ‘cannonball’ and he jumped…”

“Right onto the pavement,” He finishes her sentence chuckling.

“He landed almost on top of me!” Lex said with a laugh. “But to answer your question, yes. I do think someone falling off the roof would add to the entertainment. It would also give me an excuse for Savannah and I to leave.” Before he could answer Savannah stumbled through the door and headed over to Lex.

“Lex, you’ll never who I got for spin the bottle,” She began, but she stopped when she saw who Lex had been talking to. “Hey,” Savannah said coldly to the guy. He nodded at her.

“When you said Savannah, I didn’t know you meant her,” He said to Lex.

“Nice to see you too, Oliver,” Savannah said.

“How did you even get in here?” He asked.

“Wait, you guys know each other?” Lex asked, looking between the two.

“Ya, we do,” Savannah answered. “Oliver was the jerk from second period that tried to put the half dissected frog in my backpack,” Lex spun her head around to look at Oliver.

“You’re that Oliver?” She asked.

“I thought it’d be funny.” He shrugged. Lex squinted at his response. “And again, how did you even get in here? I made sure not to invite you.” Savannah opened mouth, but Lex held up her hand to stop her.

“Wait,” Lex said, “You’re the host?” She asked, pointing at Oliver. He nodded and Lex put her hand down. “Well, now I’m just embarrassed.” Savanah ignored her friend’s statement, electing to ask her about it later.

“Word gets around, and if you were a good host then you would’ve greeted me at the door,” Savannah returned. Oliver scoffed at her.

“If you were a good person then you wouldn’t have shown up in the first place,” Oliver shot back. Lex rolled her eyes at their petty argument, ignoring her embarrassment from a few minutes ago.

“I get it, you two don’t like each other. Can we leave now?” Lex asked her friend. Oliver answered before Savannah had a chance to.

“If Savanah was really your friend she never would’ve brought you here,” He said to Lex. She raised her eyebrows.

“And if you were a decent person we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Lex said back. “I’m going out to the car, come whenever you are done arguing with this child.”

“Child!” Oliver exclaimed. “She started it.”

“Exactly my point. Have a nice night.” Lex raised her hand in mock goodbye, but Oliver moved toward her.

“We’re done, I promise.” He smiled innocently at her.  

Savannah scoffed and rolled her eyes. “I’m going back outside, Lex. Let me know if you need anything.” Savannah spun on her heel and took a long drink before walking through a doorway and out of view.

“Did you need something?” Lex asked.

Oliver offered his hand to her. “Would you like a tour of the grounds milady?” He said in a bad English accent. Lex narrowed her eyes while fighting a grin. “I promise we won’t go anywhere near the roof.”

Lex rolled her eyes as she took his hand. “As long as the tour stops by the kitchen, I heard there was pizza.”

Oliver pulled her hand until it was resting in the crook of his elbow. “Whatever will make the lady happiest.”

Lex smiled. Maybe this party wasn’t as bad as she thought.

There are three reasons I don’t fight demons: they’re rich, they’re arrogant, and they always, always cheat. Without fail. 

“Lyric,” says a voice behind me. I pause and then resume putting one foot in front of the other.

“What’s the bet on me today?” 

“Thirty gold. And a few silvers thrown in by the more hesitant bidders.”

I roll my eyes. “Am I allowed weapons?”

“No physical weapons, but magic is allowed.” 

Of course a demon would want to use magic. “What’s up with this one? Needs a reality check?”

A pale form comes even with me, matching my stride. “More like an ego boost. Falling from favor with your social circle must be a huge blow.” Sora can’t withhold their sarcasm and their voice practically drips with it.

“Oh well, what can they do but go fight in thieves’ circles when they need to release their emotions,” I sigh, pretending to be serious. My face gives me away.

“Why’d you agree to fight it this time?” they ask me. 

I shrug, trying to be nonchalant. If Sora realizes there’s more to it they don’t press. Instead they run a barely visible hand through their barely visible hair.

“Don’t tell me you’re worried about my odds?” I glance over at them in time to catch a concerned expression.

“More like worried about your change in standards. You know Stefan would have taken it in a heartbeat.”

“Well there’s someone who needs an ego check,” I say, avoiding their question.

“Yes, I suppose so…”

Before they can take another step, I whirl and grab hold of Sora’s hand. I’m always surprised how solid it is despite its see-through appearance. “Cut to the important stuff. What am I getting into?”

They glare at me for a full two seconds before giving in. “This one’s royalty.”

I let go. “Of course it is.” So it’s super rich, super arrogant, and will cheat more than play by any kind of rules.

“Not super high up. Some offspring of a cousin of the king’s. But still. Royalty.” A pause. “You picked a great time to switch tactics.”

I don’t answer and we continue walking down the corridor. The thieves guild is a large building, all gothic stone structure and spades carved everywhere. Somehow the architect managed to make it look larger on the inside than outside. Perfect for those who want to avoid the law. As much as the decree of a bunch of wealthy, egotistical cheaters can count as the law. 

The closer we get to the center of the building the more black-cloaked figures we pass and the more Sora inches closer to me. Just because no one else can see the spirit doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be able to feel them. “You’re gonna have to stop haunting me for at least thirty minutes,” I mutter under my breath.

“It is so cramped in there Lyric I swear to our stupid demon leaders―” 

I grip the pendant at my neck, whisper a few words in demonic, and Sora is out of sight.

Then, without anyone’s presence to chide me for my hypocrisy, I whisper a few words of prayer. Sure I don’t fight demons because they’re horrible. But I also never lose, and you never know exactly what combination of awfulness you’re going to get with those things.

Especially not me.

My footsteps carry me deeper into the building until finally I emerge into the beating heart of the place. A large ring is barely visible through the crowds of people in the center of a cavernous room, complete with gilded domed ceiling, tiled floors, and pillars lining the walls. Instead of fencing around the edge of the circle of sand there is simply a shimmer to the air around it. This will be a magic fight, so therefore the magic must be contained. 

“This is such a bad idea,” I mutter to myself, pushing through the throng, head down so as not to attract too much attention before the fight.

Finally I make it to the edge of the flickering barrier, where Kodiak is waiting by his huge bracket, which sits on an easel beside him. In one hand is a piece of chalk and in the other is a sack which he holds up when he catches a glimpse of me. “Could be all yours in a matter of minutes,” he grins. “Unless, of course, it wins.”

“It’s not going to win,” I say through clenched teeth. 

“Of course not.” Kodiak gestures with the money bag arm towards the ring. “Whenever you’re ready.”

I walk through the barrier, feeling a tingling sensation as I do. When I reach the center of the ring my hands dart to my sides to check for weapons that aren’t there, leaving me feeling uncomfortably exposed. Then, having nothing else to do to ignore the stares and chatter coming from around me, I flick sparks between my fingers, the only sign of any anxiety about the upcoming fight.

I don’t even have to look to know when the demon enters the room. Instantly, any conversation is halted and everyone goes still. It’s been ten years and still no one quite knows how to react among demons. Not that anyone did much to stop them from ruling us.

The demon crosses the barrier and comes to a stop in front of me. Finally, I look up and look it in the eye. It stares back in challenge.

One of the things that makes demons so terrifying is how similar they look to humans. You might never know you were dealing with one until it decided to tell you. This one is dressed all in black, dark hair slicked back and a glint in its eyes. 

“What are you here to fight for?” I ask, letting a sneer come into my voice. “I thought demons were supposed to be all high and mighty.”

The demon stares back haughtily. Then it tilts its head to the side, eyes on Sora’s pendant. “I thought you were supposed to be too.”

I step back slightly, eyes widening. “How do you―”

Instead of an answer I get a punch to the gut. Suddenly feeling like spitting fire, I dodge its next attack and return the punch. My fist collides with something much harder than flesh and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. There goes the no armor rule. In any case, I’m surprised the demon didn’t begin with a spell, but I’m not about to provoke it with one of my own.

It grunts slightly and before I know it, wind slams me back into the ground. I’m back on my feet in seconds, hurling a streak of energy at it. The demon simply holds up a hand and the energy is blown off course, forcing the audience to duck, awestruck. I’m not sure how many of them have actually seen me use my magic before.

“Seriously, why are you here?” I ask. “Don’t royals have anyone to beat up around the palace?”

No response, just another blast of air in my direction. Can’t be too powerful of a royal if this is all it can do. 

But strangely enough, instead of trying to hurt me, the demon simply keeps trying to knock me to the ground. Why? 

Instead of standing my ground, I let the next gust knock me flat. The crowd boos. The demon walks over. “Can’t you fight better than that?”

I don’t answer, taking advantage of its proximity to pull its arm down, pulling myself up and it down. Caught off guard, it falls, and I put a boot on its chest to keep it from getting back up. “Seems I could ask the same of you.”

But once again I don’t get an answer. The audience is cheering around me, clueless to any of our somewhat one-sided conversation. The demon‘s eyes are narrowed at me, full of suspicion. “Who are you?”

“If you’re not going to answer my questions, why would I answer yours?”

Still no answer. Instead, in one lightning quick movement, it reaches up and shoves the fabric of my sleeve up. To the rowdy drunks the mark on my wrist means nothing. But to the demon…It lets go. “You’re—you’re really—”

“What? I’m really what?” I ask in challenge, shoving my face closer to the demon’s.

No answer. Instead it stares at me, eyes narrowed, suspicious and fearful.

 After a few seconds, I lose patience. I shove it down and walk out of the ring, grabbing the sack from a somewhat bemused Kodiak, refusing to acknowledge any of what just happened.

―

It’s back the next day. 

“Why didn’t you leave?” Sora asks, after briefing me on the fight.

“I can’t,” I mutter.

“But it might figure out who you are.”

“That’s exactly why I can’t leave.”

“Lyric, you need to tell me why you’re doing this. I can’t help you if you don’t.”

I glare at the floor for a moment. “My mother sent it.”

“Anyone could tell you that. Even more reason to cut our losses and get out of here.”

“Kodiak has let me know that that won’t be an option again.”

“He did not.”

“He did.”

“We’ll find a new job somewhere else then.”

“We both know my mother will capture us on our way out of the city.”

A beat, then: “Yeah I suppose we do.”

“So we’re in agreement then?”

Sora gives a stiff nod. “But I swear to our somewhat questionable rulers, if you die I’m going to chase after you and slap you as hard as I possibly can for being an idiot.”

“Love you too Sora,” I say, then summon them back into my pendant.

When I get to the ring, the demon is waiting for me.

“Hello again,” it says, once I’ve joined it in the center. The crowd, larger than last night, is hushed, breathless, unable to quite make out what we’re saying but eager to witness the beginning of the fight.

“Hello.”

“You agreed to fight me again.”

“You’re talkative tonight.”

“Maybe I want answers.”

“Who says you’ll get them?”

Its mouth twitches in some semblance of amusement. “I’ll get them.”

“I like your confidence.” I send crackling energy down my body, across the ground, and up its form, most likely only jolting it slightly, but its hair stands on end. The audience makes awed noises. Magic isn’t something everyone sees on a daily basis. 

Well, most people.

“You think energy is powerful?” it asks me.

“So far all you’ve shown me is a few gusts of wind, so I wouldn’t be talking.”

The demon knocks me flat. It walks over and stands over me, a glint in its eyes. “A few gusts of wind?”

I electrocute it with all the strength in my body. “Yeah, something like that.”

The glint is gone as I get up, weight on my toes, ready for anything. “How did someone like you end up here?” it asks, then throws a punch. I dodge and land a punch in its side. No armor today. Interesting.

“Why would I trust a demon with anything about me?”

I dodge the wrong way and it knocks me to the ground. “Why wouldn’t you?”

I yank it down with me, using it as leverage for me to get back up. “Oh I don’t know, maybe because your kind took over, established a lawless government, and currently acts with the least amount of morals of any creature I’ve ever met.”

“My kind? You’re one to talk,” it says from the ground as the crowd hollers at it to get up or give in.

“You don’t know me.”

“I know enough.”

The next thing I know it has me wrapped in some kind of wind cocoon and I can’t move an inch. It gets up and right up close to me, inspecting my face. 

After a moment―”What’s your name?”

I stay silent for a few moments, squirming against the invisible restraint, but then, “Lyric,” slips out.

The glint returns. “Karel.” Then it steps back and throws something on the floor. When the smoke clears, it’s gone.

Cheater.

The crowd agrees with me and I grab the bag from Kodiak.

―

“Lyric, no. He’s cheated twice. And you told him your name.”

“It’s not my real name. And I’ve gotten the money both times.” 

“That doesn’t mean you’ll get it again. It’s playing at something larger,” Sora protests.

“Of course it’s playing at something larger. Mother isn’t an idiot.”

I get an eye roll for that. “But she’s not unbeatable.”

“Maybe.”

“So…”

I smile. “I’m still fighting it.”

“Lyric…”

“Don’t worry so much, I have a plan.”

―

Karel doesn’t look the least bit fazed by all the booing that’s coming from the audience today. They don’t like cheaters. I could’ve told them it was coming though. Haven’t they ever met demons before?

“You’ve cheated twice,” I point out. 

“You’ve gotten the money both times,” it says, arms crossed.

“Why do you think I’m here right now?”

“Yes, we both know what matters most to you.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Well then, if money matters the most to me, what matters the most to you? Cheating your way out of a fight? Why are you here? And why do you keep coming back?”

“Do you really need the answer to that question?”

“Would I ask if I didn’t?”

All I get is a smirk as the audience clamors for us to start already.

I anticipate the first blast of wind, but get buffeted by the second. 

“These fights are getting a bit repetitive don’t you think?” I ask, ducking a punch.

“The audience sure seems to think so,” it responds, dodging out of the way of an energy blast. Indeed, the cheering was more muted and I could swear the bet numbers were down. 

“Kodiak isn’t going to let these fights keep going like this,” I mutter to myself. “He’s going to want more variation to keep the crowds up.”

“Then I suggest you figure out what I’m up to before our fight ends today,” it says. “Or are you just going to rely on your little ghost?”

I’m not sure how it knows about Sora but I don’t acknowledge that. “How am I supposed to find out what you’re up to when you won’t answer my questions?”

“A question for a question then.”

“How am I supposed to know you won’t leave once you’ve found out what you’re digging for?”

“Who says I’m digging?”

“I do,” I say, panting slightly. “Why are you here?”

“Family issue. Why did you break your policy to fight me?”

“Call it a whim. What happened to make you fall from grace?”

“Who said I fell from grace?”

“My ‘little ghost’ as you put it.”

“Hmm.”

All of a sudden it pauses, eyeing me. The booing resumes full volume. “Why did you leave?”

“Leave where?” I ask, feigning confusion. My pulse skips. 

“You know where.”

“Do I?”

“Oh please. You can’t expect me to believe I’d fall for your whole thief, underground fighter charade.” It steps closer to me, eyes narrowed. I clench my fist, energy building in my palm. The audience goes quiet, perhaps sensing the unusual tension in this fight. 

All of a sudden Karel grabs the chain around my neck. “My mother was the one to give this to you, Calyra. Don’t think you could rewrite your history so easily.”

“Maybe not,” I hiss. “But I can rewrite my future.” It glares at me. “I know they’re using you. Did they tell you the reason I left?”

It doesn’t answer.

“I thought so.” I grab it by the collar, pulling it close enough it’s the only one that can hear me when I hiss, “You tell my mother I have no interest in being heir. You be heir for all I care. Just leave me alone.”

“Then why did you pay attention to the note she sent? Why’d you agree to fight me?”

“To send a message you idiot. And the money. I hope you didn’t think it was anything more noble. Or the exact opposite of noble considering what you want me to go back to. I mean, please, do you really care if I come back or not? We hadn’t even said three words to each other before.”

The look in Karel’s eyes proves I’m right. 

“You won’t be seeing me again,” I say, backing up slowly as Kodiak begins to walk over to either end the fight or restart it.

Karel takes a step toward me. “Maybe not. But your family will never stop.”

Sora was probably right. I shouldn’t have fought this one. Allowed it to fuel the fire that keeps them searching for me. 

I don’t respond, turning my back on my opponent. It is a clear sign and the audience picks it up clear as day. Some even gesture wildly at Karel, for him to attack while I’m not looking at him. When the “boo”s resume I smile to myself and step out of the ring, facing Kodiak. 

“I’m done with that one.”

“Good,” he says. “The audience is too.” A beat. “You’ll be back tomorrow for your usual?”

I nod and walk away, already spotting Sora’s flickering form in the corridor. I’m going to get a talking to but they’ll help me stay hidden. Just like they always do. 

I should have added a reason I don’t fight demons. They’re rich, they’re arrogant, they always cheat, and I want nothing more to do with them.